| Stories: |
O'Hanlon enrolls early; Irish excited,
terrified 
-by South Bend
Tribune Feb 14, 2006 |
Gaelic Recruit wows in visit to ND; SMCers
swoon
-by Belle Beat.com
Feb 14, 2006 |
Carr to offer; "No fookin' way" says Hanlon
-by theWolverine .net
Feb 6, 2006 |
Trojans eyeing O'Hanlon; O'Hanlon wants to
know what the fook they're looking at
-by Trojanwire
Jan 16, 2006 |
Ianello
discovers a unique recruit
-by the
Blue-Gray Sky, April 1, 2005 |
| |
| Hot
News: |
|
|
O'Hanlon busted in SUDS roundup, outruns
20 cops with a keg on his back
-by Scout.com
Mar 22, 2006 |
| Injury
News: |
 |
|
| O'Hanlon
has numerous injuries, including a torn earlobe, a distended liver,
curvature of the spine, premature baldness, chronic halitosis and bite
marks. |
|
|
 |
|
Ht: 5-9 Wt: 252 40: 6.2 (4.0 barefoot)
| Position: |
Center
Half; Goalkeeper, Ranconteur |
| School: |
Homeschooled by dear old mum
|
|
|
| 2007 Scout.com HS Football Rankings (full list): |
| Pos: ? |
Pos Rank: NR |
Pos Rating:  |
| Scout.com Player Evaluation: |
| STRENGTHS |
 Body Weight |
| Skull Thickness |
| Leprechaun Flute |
| Guinness Appreciation |
|
| AREAS
FOR IMPROVEMENT |
 Playing nice with others |
| Listening |
|
|
| Simply unbelievable skill, speed, and
strength. Although he has never even touched a football, O'Hanlon will
likely win multiple Heismans, a Pulitzer and a Nobel prize. |
| Biography: |
|
See this
story for the scoop on O'Hanlon.
O'Hanlon was an early enrollee this semester
at Notre Dame and has been spotted swimming the St. Joe River at three
in the morning. He was assigned to live in 231 Keenan, but has been
dismantling his room cinder block by cinder block and constructing his
own stone shack behind Stepan Center, where he cooks geese and fish
that he has caught on his swims. Approach with caution.
Age: Unknown. Possibly
anywhere from 18-33.
Coach's Comments: "He is the
greatest natural athletic talent I have ever seen in my entire life.
He's 5 foot nine and 250 pounds of pure hell. I can't control him.
Nobody can. He's a whirling dervish with reflexes of hawk and the
temper of a pissed-off mountain goat. He's your problem now, Yanks. "
O'Hanlon: "For fook's sake, let's see
what this little game is all about."
Charlie Weis: "Look, folks, it's
pretty simple. O'Hanlon has a chance to go down as the greatest player
to ever put on a gold helmet. That's assuming we can get him to wear
one while he's playing. And if we can keep him sober."
|
|
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